This practice guide is for anyone who has observed or learned something that leads them to suspect that a child is being or has been sexually abused, in situations where the child has not verbally reported abuse.
You may be in any role that brings you into contact with a child, for example youth workers, teaching and early years staff, playworkers, medical professionals, sports coaches, social workers, health visitors.
The context
Many children who experience sexual abuse do not tell anyone at the time. Concerns may arise because:
- a child has hinted at something.
- you have noticed behavioural, emotional or physical signs.
- you have observed concerning behaviour by someone around the child.
- information in case notes or reports has raised concerns.
- another professional or individual has shared concerns with you.
Many cases of child sexual abuse come to light only because a professional raises concerns. You may not be the first person to worry about a child, but you can be the first to act.
This guide focuses on understanding the child’s experience and how you can help.
How may the child be feeling?
Children face many barriers to telling someone about sexual abuse. They may:
- feel frightened about consequences or threats.
- feel ashamed or embarrassed.
- be influenced by family loyalties or cultural taboos.
- have communication difficulties or additional needs.
- find it harder to tell if the abuse involves another child, including a sibling.
- believe they won’t be believed.
- not recognise what is happening as abuse.
Children often want someone to notice something is wrong and ask them directly.
Some children who are groomed or exploited may initially believe they are in a ‘relationship’.
Others may not realise what is happening is wrong, particularly if they are young, have additional needs, or have been groomed.
You might be the first person to notice – or the first to take action.
Where there are signs or indicators of sexual abuse, the child may still be at risk even if they have not told anyone.
The child’s safety and welfare are paramount.
“My college tutor … was absolutely amazing. He noticed something was wrong, I don’t know how because he didn’t really know me.”
“What I needed at that particular time was somebody who was sensitive enough to see that this was a vulnerable person here. The issue was actually not about the anger and the aggression, or the violence, it’s actually about somebody who was actually crying out for help.”
“I think that sometimes people slip through the net, because they are very good at hiding, and they don’t always show what they really feel about things so I think, sometimes too many people get missed … Sometimes it’s right under people’s noses and they just don’t recognise it.”
“I never went and asked for help, but no one ever asked me if I needed help.”
How can you best help the child?
You can use the signs and indicators template to record behavioural and physical signs, potential signs of sexually abusive behaviour in others, and family or environmental factors that increase risk This helps build a picture over time and supports safeguarding action.
Be aware that:
- signs of sexual abuse may be mistaken for other issues.
- children often experience multiple forms of harm.
- sexual abuse can be overlooked, especially where a child has other known difficulties or disabilities.
Discuss concerns with your safeguarding lead and relevant professionals.
There must be a conversation with the child as soon as possible.
If possible, consider how and where you will speak to the child. For example, choose a private and safe space, and consider the child’s background, communication needs and development.
The focus is on understanding what is happening and ensuring safety, not investigation.
Opening the conversation Use gentle, open approaches such as:
- “I have noticed…”
- “Help me understand…”
- “If you want to talk to me, I am here to listen.”
Avoid pressure. The child may not respond straight away.
Responding If the child confirms abuse:
- reassure them they have been heard and taken seriously.
- explain you will need to share information to help keep them safe.
- stay calm and non‑judgemental.
- do not ask why they did not tell sooner.
- do not ask them to repeat their account.
Ending the conversation
- reassure the child they are not in trouble.
- explain next steps clearly and honestly.
- avoid making promises you cannot keep.
- keep the door open for further conversations.
Record what you see, talk with the child, and seek advice.
Protective action depends on your role, but may include limiting contact with a suspected person and considering the safety of siblings and other children.
If there is concern of significant harm:
- make a referral to children’s social care.
- contact the police if there is immediate danger.
- do not wait for a child to verbally tell you that they have been sexually abused.
Parents should usually be informed unless this would place the child at risk.
Ensure the child receives emotional and practical support:
- explain why they may need to speak to others.
- help them access specialist services.
- consider school, health and family support needs.
- Support non‑abusing parents and carers so they can support the child.