This practice guide is for teaching and early years staff working with a child who has been, or may have been, sexually abused. It is also relevant for any other professionals working with the child, in particular social care staff and youth justice workers.
It is vital for all professionals to think about the support the child will need in terms of their education, especially if statutory agencies are not involved in their life (because they have declined to pursue a referral or have closed the case). Even when agencies are involved, it is important that everyone involved with the child understands they have a responsibility to ensure the child’s education is prioritised.
How might the child’s education be affected by the abuse?
When a child is being sexually abused, or when concerns of sexual abuse have been raised, the child’s experience of school is likely to be affected. They may see school as a safe space and immerse themselves in their academic work and activities; alternatively, they may be unwilling to go to school, refuse to go, or start truanting. They may feel unsafe or overwhelmed in school or feel that they cannot trust either staff or other children.
The impact of abuse often shows up in these ways:
- The child might refuse to come to school or start skipping classes.
- They may find it very hard to focus, become "fidgety," or start underachieving because their mind is "too full" of their experiences.
- Distress might show up as emotional outbursts, lack of cooperation, or falling out with friends.
- Lessons about relationships or sex education (PSHE) can be particularly painful and overwhelming.
“If you go to school that’s really important. You know it just keeps you around normal people … it’s like rules and people telling you what to do. At the time I didn’t think that was a good thing but it is, believe me.”
“I dropped out of college because I just couldn’t cope … like I was just in a room full of boys, there was only one other girl. They were just having a laugh about [sex] and making jokes about it. It was really difficult and I just couldn’t cope with it...”
“PSHE was really hard for me because it was about abuse and that – I just had to try and get through it ….”
“It was a big impact on my exams, I didn’t get no GCSEs or anything, I was in the exam but because my mind was so full up on that I didn’t have time to revise, I didn’t have time to worry about GCSEs or a piece of paper.”
How can you best help the child?
Helping a child feel engaged in their education and supporting their future plans for education, training or employment is vital to their recovery from sexual abuse.
The school can support the child to keep on track with their learning at a pace that feels right for them.
- Ensure ongoing efforts to keep the child in school and engaged in their learning throughout their education.
- Support the child’s emotional wellbeing and recognise that their behaviour may be a symptom of abuse or a difficult home situation.
- Help the child stay on track academically by adapting support to their needs, such as checking understanding, offering extra time, small group work, or differentiated materials.
- Ask the child about any subjects they might be finding more difficult and agree with them what can be put in place to help.
- Avoid giving extra work to catch up or keeping the child back during breaks to recover lost learning.
- If attendance or attainment drops, respond with supportive interventions rather than disciplinary measures, acknowledging the impact of trauma on learning and memory.
- Provide additional support during less structured times, such as directing the child to structured activities or assigning a buddy at breaks and lunch.
- Be mindful if the child overachieves as a response to abuse; ensure they receive appropriate support regardless of their academic performance.
- Establish a routine check-in to review learning and acknowledge progress.
There are many ways the school can support the child’s emotional wellbeing:
- Explain to the child that feeling overwhelmed at times is normal and reassure them by giving examples of how these emotions might show up.
- Help the child identify situations (such as lessons on relationships and sex) that may trigger a reaction and support them in identifying a safe person to approach if they feel upset.
- Encourage the child to select more than one safe person for support if needed.
- Ensure the safe person actively checks in with the child during the day, rather than waiting for the child to seek help.
- Provide the child with a discreet sign (such as a card) to indicate when they need time out or to find their safe person or place.
- Let the child know that they may ring home if they are feeling anxious or upset.
- Help the child create an emotional first aid kit.
- If a referral for sexual abuse concerns is not progressed by social care, support the child to understand why the decision has been made. To learn more, read our guide When children's social care/MASH or the police decide not to progress the referral.
Other children in the school may already know that something has happened, and this can be very difficult for the child; they may face bullying and or victim-blaming, in person and/or online. It can also be difficult for the other children, who may also feel confused and afraid.
- Reassure them that the only staff who know about their situation are those who need to know. Tell them who these staff members are.
- Support the child in deciding which peers, if any, to confide in, what details to share, and when to do so. Encourage them to consider whether their friends might share the information with others.
- Help the child anticipate possible reactions from friends, explaining that some may be upset or struggle to believe them, and discuss how these responses might make the child feel.
- Reassure the child that the choice to tell friends is entirely theirs, now or in the future. Highlight that friends might involve their own parents, whose reactions could vary.
- Advise the child that even after sharing with friends, there will be times when they don't wish to discuss the situation. Give them with simple scripts to change the subject, such as: “I need some help to distract me from this today – can we talk about something else?”
- If appropriate for the child's age, discuss strategies for responding to negative comments, misinformation, or rumours encountered on social media.
The child may need guidance for social interactions, both online and offline. Assist them in preparing responses if someone discusses the abuse, asks about missed school for appointments, or questions if they are suddenly upset.
Schools face particular challenges when supporting a child sexually harmed by another pupil.
The Safety Planning in Education guide outlines actions to ensure both the harmed child and those who have harmed are kept safe and receive appropriate support.
Equipping school staff to support sexually abused children
Support from school staff is invaluable for children who have been sexually abused, but it can be complex and emotionally challenging for staff.
- School leaders should embed a whole-school approach, ensuring staff have time and skills to regularly talk with and listen to children.
- Children benefit from building trusting relationships with school staff who can support their individual needs.
- Staff should seek specialist advice and ongoing support from local independent sexual violence advisors (ISVAs). The Survivors Trust’s ISVA webpage offers a search tool to find local ISVAs.
- School staff should feel confident in proactively talking with children where there are concerns or disclosures of sexual abuse; this requires appropriate training, practical guidance, and supervision/support.
- The Communicating with children guide provides advice on what to say, ask, and how to have conversations in various contexts.
- Make sure that staff know how they should interact with the person(s) of concern A clear written safety plan should be agreed on what should and should not happen.
- Supervision and peer support are especially important for staff working with sexually abused children.